Saturday, September 07, 2002
"HAVE GOT RECEPTION - WHOOPEE!"
The above is the text message I received a few days ago from R & E - I guess the MTN network is finally stable now in Kihiihi. Thank God - finally I can make and receive phone calls and text msgs in the privacy of my own home. So please call if you're feeling rich (my number is 011 256 77 890 749) - I do miss home a lot!)
The above is the text message I received a few days ago from R & E - I guess the MTN network is finally stable now in Kihiihi. Thank God - finally I can make and receive phone calls and text msgs in the privacy of my own home. So please call if you're feeling rich (my number is 011 256 77 890 749) - I do miss home a lot!)
My First Ugandan Wedding - August 28, 2002
So I've just returned from my first Ugandan wedding and I am afraid that I won't be able to remember everything that I've experienced this afternoon. It was wild, to say the least. We didn't go to the church service, which was supposed to be at 9:00 this morning, and apparently it only lasts about an hour and then you hang around while they get the reception ready, plus it would have been in Rukiga and mostly incomprehensible, as my Rukiga skills are improving only very very slowly. (I still can't understand when people say things - the Bakiga talk too fast, but that's what the Bakiga say about Abajungu and speaking English.)
Ellie, Christine and I left for the reception around 2:00pm, which was to be held at the groom's family's house in a village called Kibihembe (?), just outside of Kihiihi Town. We arrived just ahead of the wedding party, and caused quite a stir - imagine, a blonde and a strange looking mujungu! There was a huge tent-like structure set up outside - I say tent-like because it was basically any large pieces of material they could scrounge up tied up with string and held up by poles. There were tons of people there, sitting on benches. Apparently whenever there's a wedding, anyone just shows up, so you have the area for the wedding party and important people (like local politicians and church guys), an area for the groom's friends and family, an area for the bride's friends and family, and then the "common" folk. When we arrived, we were ushered directly to the important areas, as Ellie and Richard had actually received an invitation from the groom's side (Ellie had treated in hospital the brother of Fred who owns the shop where we get cold sodas - it was Fred's brother's son who was getting married today) and Christine, a nurse at the health centre, was actually related to the groom's side. We had to make the rounds of greeting all the other important people and then we sat for a while, which gave me a chance to take in my surroundings. I think they basically tried to find anything festive looking and put it up - there was a "Seasons Greetings" banner directly above the wedding party area, little flags of scrap material tied up with string, tinselly-looking strands hanging around, and I think there was even a little plastic Christmas tree on the table in front of the wedding party seats. Some of the women's outfits were even more amazing - tons of colourful, beautifully-printed pieces of fabric tied in different ways on various parts of the body, there was one woman (God, I wish I had gotten a picture of her!) who had this insane purple and white outfit with huge puffed sleeves with a corrugated-cardboard-like texture. It's really indescribable (plus she was just ginormous in size, to boot!)
We were whisked away with the rest of the importants to the house to eat. There was chicken and huge platters of the usual starch - matooke, rice, millet bread. We had to finish in a hurry, though, because we were going to miss the entrance of the wedding party. We got back to our seats just in time to see them sit down in their area. It's weird, they played a taped "Here Comes the Bride", but with African beats underneath! Surprisingly, the outfits of the wedding party were traditional Western, men in suits and the bride in a white wedding gown, her attendants in white as well. I was also surprised to see one of my students, Prudence, up there - turns out she is the sister of the bride.
The reception lasted for AGES - we didn't get out of there until after 7:00pm, 5 hours after we had arrived. Actually, that's not so long, but it felt like it was dragging because it mostly consisted of long speeches in Rukiga from relatives and dignitaries, which wouldn't have been so bad except that the typical Ugandan family has at least 5 children, and about a million other relatives - it's not rare to go to a village where 80% of the population is related to each other in some way or another. I was trying desperately to understand everything, but as I said before, my Rukiga comprehension skills are less than adequate for that task. So, it was a little boring at times, but there were some interesting events of note:
Well, it was definitely an interesting cultural experience. Hopefully I will have the opportunity to do it again. Joan, one of the nurses at the health centre who was at this wedding, told me that her niece is getting married in Rukungiri in a few weeks, so if she can arrange transport, she will invite me to accompany her. As well, Tarsis, one of my students, is getting married in December and has promised to invite me to his wedding. Maybe one day I will finally be able to taste this wedding cake!
So I've just returned from my first Ugandan wedding and I am afraid that I won't be able to remember everything that I've experienced this afternoon. It was wild, to say the least. We didn't go to the church service, which was supposed to be at 9:00 this morning, and apparently it only lasts about an hour and then you hang around while they get the reception ready, plus it would have been in Rukiga and mostly incomprehensible, as my Rukiga skills are improving only very very slowly. (I still can't understand when people say things - the Bakiga talk too fast, but that's what the Bakiga say about Abajungu and speaking English.)
Ellie, Christine and I left for the reception around 2:00pm, which was to be held at the groom's family's house in a village called Kibihembe (?), just outside of Kihiihi Town. We arrived just ahead of the wedding party, and caused quite a stir - imagine, a blonde and a strange looking mujungu! There was a huge tent-like structure set up outside - I say tent-like because it was basically any large pieces of material they could scrounge up tied up with string and held up by poles. There were tons of people there, sitting on benches. Apparently whenever there's a wedding, anyone just shows up, so you have the area for the wedding party and important people (like local politicians and church guys), an area for the groom's friends and family, an area for the bride's friends and family, and then the "common" folk. When we arrived, we were ushered directly to the important areas, as Ellie and Richard had actually received an invitation from the groom's side (Ellie had treated in hospital the brother of Fred who owns the shop where we get cold sodas - it was Fred's brother's son who was getting married today) and Christine, a nurse at the health centre, was actually related to the groom's side. We had to make the rounds of greeting all the other important people and then we sat for a while, which gave me a chance to take in my surroundings. I think they basically tried to find anything festive looking and put it up - there was a "Seasons Greetings" banner directly above the wedding party area, little flags of scrap material tied up with string, tinselly-looking strands hanging around, and I think there was even a little plastic Christmas tree on the table in front of the wedding party seats. Some of the women's outfits were even more amazing - tons of colourful, beautifully-printed pieces of fabric tied in different ways on various parts of the body, there was one woman (God, I wish I had gotten a picture of her!) who had this insane purple and white outfit with huge puffed sleeves with a corrugated-cardboard-like texture. It's really indescribable (plus she was just ginormous in size, to boot!)
We were whisked away with the rest of the importants to the house to eat. There was chicken and huge platters of the usual starch - matooke, rice, millet bread. We had to finish in a hurry, though, because we were going to miss the entrance of the wedding party. We got back to our seats just in time to see them sit down in their area. It's weird, they played a taped "Here Comes the Bride", but with African beats underneath! Surprisingly, the outfits of the wedding party were traditional Western, men in suits and the bride in a white wedding gown, her attendants in white as well. I was also surprised to see one of my students, Prudence, up there - turns out she is the sister of the bride.
The reception lasted for AGES - we didn't get out of there until after 7:00pm, 5 hours after we had arrived. Actually, that's not so long, but it felt like it was dragging because it mostly consisted of long speeches in Rukiga from relatives and dignitaries, which wouldn't have been so bad except that the typical Ugandan family has at least 5 children, and about a million other relatives - it's not rare to go to a village where 80% of the population is related to each other in some way or another. I was trying desperately to understand everything, but as I said before, my Rukiga comprehension skills are less than adequate for that task. So, it was a little boring at times, but there were some interesting events of note:
- The bride was absolutely miserable the whole time. Apparently it is custom for the bride to look humble and keep her eyes down, but it is up to her whether or not she smiles! Alice did not smile once, and you could see tears running down her cheeks at times. Perhaps she is scared at the prospect of leaving her family, but most people think that she doesn't have much to cry about - after all, she is the one who accepted Wilson's offer of marriage; she could have rejected him if she thought he wouldn't be a good husband. It is customary for the man to pay a bride price or dowry, but the woman has the option to refuse him.
- The wedding party has to walk to the table where the cake is, so that the bride and groom can cut it, feed pieces to each other and give each other a drink. This in itself is not weird, but what was strange was the actual way they walked, a kind of Africanized-version of that stilted walk down the aisle that some Western brides have - you know, when they take a step, stop, take another step, stop, etc. But these guys put a little jiggle in their step, so they were sloooooowly boogying their way to the cake. PS The cake (or cakes, as there were three of them) was orange-coloured on the inside and iced with white, blue and orange. I was dying to try a piece but I missed my opportunity when the bride was giving it out to her in-laws - I thought it wouldn't be appropriate to accept but pretty much anything goes here. I wasn't even officially invited to this wedding, I just tagged along with Ellie and was counted among the importants. Anyways, the other two cakes go to the families of the bride and groom to take home.
- Lots of singing, which was really nice. I don't think I've met one Ugandan who can't sing amazingly well - it's probably considered a disability if you can't sing well. Mostly hymns, like "Jesu Ni Murungi" (Jesus is Good), but people really get into them, with drums and clapping, not all formal and solemn like back home. The odd thing is, people will just break into song whenever they feel like it. For instance, if someone is giving a speech and a member of the audience really agrees with what that person is saying, he or she will just strike up a song and everyone else joins in.
- The bride's parents are not supposed to come to the wedding and subsequent festivities, nor are they even invited! They have a "giving away" ceremony at their house the day before the wedding, and that is the extent of their involvement in all following wedding-related activities. It is said that it is bad luck to have the parents of the bride present at the wedding, because then the bride will not be a good wife.
- I had absolutely no idea what to bring as a gift. Apparently no one would have noticed if we didn't give anything, but still I felt bad about going and accepting their hospitality without giving something back. It's okay to give some money in an envelope if you don't want to buy anything (difficult to know what the couple will want if there's no registry!) Many people ended up giving mostly household items, like plastic basins, a sewing machine, livestock, plates, cups, etc., but there were also very many envelopes (collected in a big bucket!)
- Once the bride goes into the house, the reception is over. She has to stay in the house until the next morning - can't even go outside to bathe or go to the bathroom (they bring her a basin!).
- I brought my camera with me because I wanted to take some pictures, but was unsure of how it would be viewed (maybe it would have offended?) I thought that maybe if I told them that I would give them copies of the pictures, it would be okay. Turns out I was very welcome to take pictures, no one minded one bit when I asked. I did feel a bit conspicuous because I had to get up in front of everyone in order to get the best shot, though. I asked Prudence if I could take a picture of her and her sister after the wedding, and just before we were about to go (after they had fed us, the importants, another huge meal of goat and all the fixings!), I was called into the house where the bride and groom were. Alice was still miserable, and I couldn't do or say anything to make her smile for my picture. Once I took my shot, everyone wanted to have their picture taken with me - Prudence, Christine, the groom Wilson, his best man. I guess it's cool to have a mujungu at your wedding, some sort of cachet. Wish I had taken more film so I could have fully captured the experience.
Well, it was definitely an interesting cultural experience. Hopefully I will have the opportunity to do it again. Joan, one of the nurses at the health centre who was at this wedding, told me that her niece is getting married in Rukungiri in a few weeks, so if she can arrange transport, she will invite me to accompany her. As well, Tarsis, one of my students, is getting married in December and has promised to invite me to his wedding. Maybe one day I will finally be able to taste this wedding cake!
Better late than never
Belated birthday wishes to:
Belated birthday wishes to:
- Nat (August 27) - did you finally have a birthday party? Wish I could have been there - hope it was a blast!
- Vic (September 3) - did you have fun at the rippers? hahahaha
I'm sure I'm forgetting someone...sorry!
Wedding Bells!
It looks like long-term commitment is in the air! Congratulations to:
1. Lin and Scott (I knew it the minute I saw the email subject "Big News")
2. Mike and Laura (belated...I meant to send my congrats much earlier when I found out but I've been a bit isolated communication-wise)
I wish you all the very best!
Hmm, I wonder if this is going to start a trend. Am feeling a bit Bridget Jones-y, if you know what I mean....
Monday, September 02, 2002
I'm Back in Cyberspace!
After a more-than-one-month absence from internet and email, I'm back (a little worse for wear, but the internet withdrawal symptoms have eased somewhat.) This has been due to a number of factors, such as unpaid ISP account bills (not my fault), limited electricity, and being crazy busy with work. The good news is that a well-deserved break is in my near future, as I will be going to Kampala for almost a week on Wednesday, September 4. Back to the land of cold drinks, dairy products, electricity (most of the time, although I hear that it has not been quite stable recently), faster Internet service and cell phone reception! So, if anyone has any money they feel like blowing, please give me a ring - I would love to hear from you - my number is somewhere on my blog. I will update this thing later when I'm in Kla, lots of tidbits to post.
After a more-than-one-month absence from internet and email, I'm back (a little worse for wear, but the internet withdrawal symptoms have eased somewhat.) This has been due to a number of factors, such as unpaid ISP account bills (not my fault), limited electricity, and being crazy busy with work. The good news is that a well-deserved break is in my near future, as I will be going to Kampala for almost a week on Wednesday, September 4. Back to the land of cold drinks, dairy products, electricity (most of the time, although I hear that it has not been quite stable recently), faster Internet service and cell phone reception! So, if anyone has any money they feel like blowing, please give me a ring - I would love to hear from you - my number is somewhere on my blog. I will update this thing later when I'm in Kla, lots of tidbits to post.
